cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
