So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
