I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
