didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
