She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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