So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i already hear my dad disowning me
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
