i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
