You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am available for nakedness
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
