Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
