So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
