This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
