Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it's like heaven, but drunker
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
