beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm getting married
To pizza
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
