He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
