You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
