I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
