508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
