Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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