oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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