I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
