Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
