I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
