I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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