I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
