Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
