she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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