he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize