Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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