the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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