He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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