Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
