Screwed.edu
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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