I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Four minutes until I can fart!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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