He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
