Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here

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  (804): Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here http://tfl.nu/obgo
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (490)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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  (425): my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired. http://tfl.nu/08pz
  Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (1947)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

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  (716): I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/kobd
  Replies (15) Good night (1524) Bad night (2417)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.

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  (860): we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed. http://tfl.nu/9td1
  Replies (14) Good night (4725) Bad night (904)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.

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  (501): Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure. http://tfl.nu/9bef
  Replies (7) Good night (974) Bad night (4276)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.

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  (403): Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear. http://tfl.nu/rnay
  Replies (1) Good night (2218) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.

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  (513): I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud. http://tfl.nu/lhri
  Replies (10) Good night (1236) Bad night (1628)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable

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  (732): wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5ca2
  Replies (16) Good night (6493) Bad night (928)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.

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  (805): I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you. http://tfl.nu/4mkg
  Replies (7) Good night (1948) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.

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  (905): Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass. http://tfl.nu/tco3
  Replies (9) Good night (4311) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight

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  (603): Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight http://tfl.nu/77hx
  Replies (4) Good night (1303) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette

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  (973): You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette http://tfl.nu/vrto
  Replies (1) Good night (1130) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time

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  (714): I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time http://tfl.nu/bvah
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning

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  (716): Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning http://tfl.nu/8997
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (138)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling

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  (215): All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling http://tfl.nu/arff
  Replies (1) Good night (216) Bad night (426)

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