dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way