Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

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(248): yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss http://tfl.nu/k4jz

Replies (4) Good night (1157) Bad night (649)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I am a bulletproof tiger!

(615): View more from Tennessee

Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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(828): I am a bulletproof tiger! (615): Haha. Nice, be careful tonight. (828): I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat? http://tfl.nu/tz40

Replies (6) Good night (1121) Bad night (566)
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(770): View more from Georgia

and technically it was a rebound

(407): View more from Florida

so lol

(770): View more from Georgia

and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game

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(770): and technically it was a rebound (407): so lol (770): and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game http://tfl.nu/lfzh

Replies (15) Good night (782) Bad night (2480)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.

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(630): Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for? (1-630): Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun. http://tfl.nu/9dkv

Replies (17) Good night (4166) Bad night (803)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.

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(540): I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down. http://tfl.nu/t10x

Replies (12) Good night (2860) Bad night (694)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning

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(603): i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning http://tfl.nu/3q6t

Replies (10) Good night (1050) Bad night (4347)
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(607): View more from New York

i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?

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(607): i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life? http://tfl.nu/2cyx

Replies (27) Good night (997) Bad night (5160)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.

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(412): My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him. http://tfl.nu/tue9

Replies (8) Good night (4317) Bad night (889)
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(716): View more from New York

sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner

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(716): sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner http://tfl.nu/i2lb

Replies (10) Good night (1158) Bad night (3921)
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(618): View more from Illinois

i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

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(618): i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw... http://tfl.nu/24ry

Replies (26) Good night (1386) Bad night (5203)
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(347): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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(347): sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things. http://tfl.nu/13io

Replies (36) Good night (8354) Bad night (1315)
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(317): View more from Indiana

They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.

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(317): They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me. http://tfl.nu/zjv5

Replies (4) Good night (2221) Bad night (1069)
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(904): View more from Florida

After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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(904): After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay. http://tfl.nu/z22k

Replies (4) Good night (2404) Bad night (864)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.

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(702): I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century. http://tfl.nu/3h7h

Replies (18) Good night (781) Bad night (3107)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?

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(732): is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex? http://tfl.nu/6ehb

Replies (10) Good night (676) Bad night (333)

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