I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
