I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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