is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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