As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
