i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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