What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
