She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize