she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
