well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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