My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
