i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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