yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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