The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Green mimosas i think yes
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
