"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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