I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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