It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize