i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
