Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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