You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
