roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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