I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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