check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
