dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
