I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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