your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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