So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
