I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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