I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
